Nature of Mind, Women & Men. Observations on Zen, Meditation & Spirituality

Enlightenment is not about becoming a better person, it’s about unbecoming a person.

You only lose what you cling to.

What is not brought to consciousness comes to us a fate. – Carl jung

Untill a man heals himself, he’ll be toxic to every woman who tries to love him.

Love is simply absence of judgement

Your apology needs to be as loud as your disrespect was.

We strengthen what we resist

We are being held back by what we are holding back

The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgement.
every action is judged by the sentiment from which it proceeds

The tendency to avoid emotional suffering is the cause of all illness.

Give yourself the permission to create what you can’t find.

Zen lesson: Refrain from adding what is not absolutely necessary in the first place.

Zen lesson: Eliminate what doesn’t matter to make more room for what does.

Zen lesson: Incorporate naturally occurring patterns and rhythms into your design.

Zen lesson: Limit information just enough to pique curiosity and leave something to the imagination.

Zen lesson: Leave room for others to cocreate with you; provide a platform for open innovation.

Zen lesson: Doing something isn’t always better than doing nothing.

Your mind is not fixed on any emotions or judgments.

Taking pleasure in the smallest things in life can bring you so much joy, that it can help quiet much of the unnecessary mental chatter going on in your mind.

Mindfulness has also been shown to decrease the self-discrepancy gap. That’s the gap between the “ideal person” you see yourself as, and the “actual person” you are. This reduces the stress that you feel when you may not be living up to your ideal expectations.

Waking up is an endless losing what you think you know, like a wave of destruction that leaves nothing, but what is true. — Unmani

If nature didn’t make it don’t take it. – Dr sebi

It is the survival of the most adaptable.

Types of people –
Inspiration driven vs discipline driven.
People focused vs outcome focused.
Big picture vs down to earth.

Sell money on the discount. – Dan Lok

Until youmake the unconscious conscious you’ll keep complaining about the fate. – Karl Jung

The more you harness and control your awareness the more you tap into your superconscious mind and the moreyour intuition can guide you.

When hunger is absent momentum sleeps – Sam Qurashi


1. I seek attention and became a people pleaser because I never got any attention from family and was hungry for their appreciation. Be self sufficient. People always disappoint, you’ll never get the appreciation you crave. Approve yourself and trust the universe.
2. People cannot touch your mind with their judgements about you. Inside your mind there is another you who is taking shots at you. The judgement you place on others become his language while taking shots at you. Stop judging others to stop being sensitive to judgements of others.
3. If someone’s presence doesn’t make your life better, nor should their opinions. – Aman Varma
4. Knowledge without intelligence to handle it breeds arrogance. – Aman Varma
5. Ask yourself better trail of questions to get better answers which uplift your mood. – Aman Varma
6. Accepting yourself in not a one time thing. It must be habitual.
7. Tired after meditation – Meditation is much more intense in nature. In the beginning meditate at your home only. Outside there are many stimulus that overwhelm your senses. After meditating in nature you might feel more exhausted than if you had done inside.
8. Intimacy with yourself – Ever felt the sexual urges come up when you are alone? Intimacy with yourself need to be explored. It cannot in a social environment. You need privacy where no one can see you or judge you not even yourself. Solitude, meditation or simply silence gives you an opportunity to explore your inner intelligence. You have to get intimate with yourself deeply. Meditation is the only way I see.
9. Meditation in medicative – When meditating if you are not able to focus on your breath, you mind keeps wandering then let it wander. See where it goes. Mostly your awareness will go to those areas of mind where it needs your attention on repair. It can be bad memories of past, some very recent event, or future event. When your awareness is in a particular place pay attention to if there is any kind of resistent or discomfort in your body. In which part it is, what kind it is, why it is there? Ask yourself everything you want to know about it. Then accept it and release it. Let it go by saying that it is not serving you anymore. Remeber that you don’t have to go against these thoughts or feelings, they will come up, accept them, understand them and then release them. Your meditation must be least resistant.
10. Thoughts are movie – Thought is the dance between emotion and logic done by awareness. There are dimensions to thoughts – it is more like a hologram and not a 2D movie. It feels real as if you are in it. As it is the dance of awareness no thought is permanent. All the scenes are ever changing. If it comes it will go. There is a speaker in the mind. Your inner voice. Which cannot shut down. Which is narrating the movie of thoughts.

Here are four truths about feelings that may challenge you, and are guaranteed to increase your integrity and authenticity if you apply them.

Your feelings belong only to you

They do not belong to anyone else, and might not be shared by anyone else. Don’t assume others feel the same as you do.

Your feelings matter

Owning them and sharing them is an act of self-respect and assertiveness. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you authentic.

Your feelings are your responsibility

Nobody else is responsible for your feelings. Not even the person or group with whom you are having conflict. They may have done something despicable which needs to be dealt with. Still, they did not cause your feelings.

Your feelings are a unique product of how you interpret what’s happening around you

You bring a unique set of experiences, history, values, and filters to any situation. The next person may have a completely different emotional response. So don’t blame your feelings on anyone else. Owning your feelings means owning the unique aspects of you that influenced those feelings.

What that means is learning to feel the sadness of the end of a relationship without falling apart. Taking brief moments to connect with one’s feelings when they arise and experience the sensations associated with the grief emotions, rather than ignoring them or pushing them away. Grief work is not wallowing in the emotion, rather it’s touching it and then returning to real life

One must remember that each time we recall a particular memory, there is always some degree of modification that takes place. The content of the memory itself, and our emotional response to it are not set in stone. Therefore, introducing a novel stimulus during memory activation, such as incorporating new information, provided that it is done during a crucial ‘reconsolidation window’ (of approximately six hours), can actually alter the same memory.

Respect and accept the differences between sex then love has a chance to blossom

Nature of women
Assisting their loved ones
Feeling responsible to help improve men
Women want empathy from men
Interested in people & relationships
Women show love by comforting
They are all about feelings and expression
When in problem they want to talk.
Don’t offer advice to men unless they ask.
They are always trying to improve others.
Women feel ignored and hurt when a man goes in his cave and doesn’t give her attention.
Women cope with stress by talking about it. Under stress they don’t care about solutions but rather seeks to be understood.
Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
Women are happy when they believe their needs are met.
It is important for women to feel supported by someone who cares.
Women are afraid of receiving.

Nature of Man
Sense of self is defined through ability to achieve results.
They value power, competency, efficiency & achievement.
They experience fulfillment through success.
Interested in things & objects
Hate being corrected or told what to do as it shows weakness. Competency is very important to them.
Men think talking about problem is to ask for advice.
Men show love by solving problems.
When in problem they want to be left alone.
Don’t provide solutions to women. Just listen.
Men become frustrated when a women talks about problems he can do nothing about.
Man feels controlled and disrespected when women force them to talk about their problems when they go in the cave.
Men cope with stress by going in their caves.
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed.
Given the opportunity to prove his potential a man expresses his best self.
To become motivated he needs to feel appreciated, trusted, and accepted. Not be needed is a slow death for a man.
A man appears most uncaring when he is afraid.
A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough.
Men are afraid of giving.
When a man’s achievements went unnoticed or were unappreciated, deep in his unconscious he began forming the incorrect belief that he is not good enough.
A selfish man is an insecure man.
When a women is unhappy or talks about problems her man feels that he is a failure. That is why he can not listen to her complaining. He feel unappreciated and inediquate. Failure is the last thing a man wants to feel.

Make relationships a win-win.

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