How To Gain Self-Confidence? 3 Simple Tips

No one is born with either high or poor self-confidence. Self-confidence is a sense of self-worth that people cultivate and improve through time. For the majority of people, confidence comes and goes.

Consider it in terms of a cycle: At the top of the cycle, someone tends to concentrate on their achievements and victories, which means they may feel confident and empowered. However, when they reach the lowest point of their cycle, they are preoccupied with their failures and may experience low self-confidence and despair. If you recognize the feeling I’m describing at the brink of the confidence cycle, just know that you’re not alone. Everyone has moments when they lack self-confidence.

The key is to recognize that confidence is like the art of bakery and that the more you practice on it, the easier it will be to use and maintain. This piece will explain why everybody ought to concentrate on their self-confidence and will provide you tips on how to do so. So take a deep breath and dive in!


  • Self-confidence is a quality that can be developed through repetition and experience and is crucial to possess in all aspects of life.
  • The terms self-esteem and self-confidence are quite similar but not nearly the same.
  • Every area of a person’s life can be significantly impacted by their level of self-confidence.
  • Lack of self-confidence manifests itself in a variety of ways, and learning how to build confidence is an ongoing endeavor for the majority of us.


What is meant by self-confidence?

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Brian Tracy

A belief in oneself and one’s skills is referred to as self-confidence. It entails having confidence and belief in your own abilities, traits, and judgements. Self-confident people feel at ease in their own skin and can deal with challenging events without losing their cool.

Self-confidence does not imply perfection or a lack of error on the part of the person. Instead, it indicates that they have faith in their capacity to grow from those errors and overcome obstacles when they present themselves.

For instance, a student who is confident can feel at ease speaking up in class and asking questions because they have faith in their own topic knowledge and comprehension. Similar to this, a confident job applicant may approach a job interview with composure and clarity because they have faith in their own abilities and credentials.

Self-confidence is a quality that can be developed through repetition and experience and is crucial to possess in all aspects of life. You are more likely to take on difficulties, accomplish your goals, and have a full life when you have confidence in yourself.

Are Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence the same?

The terms self-esteem and self-confidence are quite similar but not nearly the same. The definition of self-confidence is having good feelings about oneself and the outside world that influence one’s behavior. The degree to which a person regards himself or herself is frequently used to define self-esteem. Another idea is something called self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is the confidence someone has in her capacity to succeed.

Although these three ideas are not the same, they are closely linked. Someone’s feelings about themselves are highlighted by self-esteem. Self-efficacy emphasizes how much a person believes she can accomplish a task. Self-confidence is possibly the ideal fusion of self-esteem and self-efficacy because it emphasizes acceptance of a person’s entire self as well as how she behaves in the world as a result.

Read Blog: 3 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Attract Success

The 5 Stages

Self-confidence is not something that can be acquired overnight. It is a gradual procedure with various stages. Here are the five phases of self-confidence:

  • Unconscious incompetence: A person is unconscious of their lack of self-confidence at this level. They may be unaware that they have room for progress and may be unaware of the significance of self-confidence. For example, a person may be ignorant that their fear of public speaking stems from a lack of self-confidence and may mistakenly believe they are bad at it.
  • Conscious incompetence: A person becomes conscious of their lack of self-confidence at this level. They may recognize that their lack of confidence causes them to struggle with specific tasks or situations. For example, a person may recognize that their fear of public speaking stems from a lack of confidence and work to enhance their confidence in this area.
  • Conscious competence: A person has achieved some level of self-confidence at this stage, but they must intentionally work on it. They may need to mentally or physically prepare for specific jobs or situations. A person who has gained some confidence in public speaking, for example, may still need to prepare and practice before a significant presentation.
  • Unconscious competence: A person has gained a high level of self-confidence and it comes naturally to them at this stage. They may no longer need to work at it deliberately. For example, a person who has achieved a high level of self-confidence in public speaking may feel confident and comfortable in any setting without the need for substantial preparation or practice.
  • Self-actualization: A person has reached the pinnacle of self-confidence at this point. They have complete faith in their abilities and are capable of reaching their maximum potential. A person who has attained self-actualization in public speaking, for example, may not only be confident in their abilities, but may also be able to inspire and motivate others through their talks.

Developing self-confidence is a multi-stage process. Individuals can attain their full potential and have a more satisfying life by working to enhance their self-confidence and progressing through these stages.

What is the impact of self-confidence?

Every area of a person’s life can be significantly impacted by their level of self-confidence. Here are a few ways that self-confidence can affect various aspects of life:

  • Personal life: Increasing happiness, lowering anxiety and sadness, and fostering better relationships with others are all ways that self-confidence can enhance one’s personal life. A person is more inclined to follow their interests, meet new people, and preserve healthy relationships when they feel good about themselves.
  • Work life: In the workplace, self-confidence is essential since it can result in higher work performance, stronger leadership abilities, and greater professional success. Being self-confident makes a person more inclined to take on difficult jobs, speak out in meetings, and take calculated chances that could progress their careers. For instance, a salesperson who is confident is more likely to close deals and meet their sales goals, whereas a salesperson who lacks confidence may have trouble handling rejection and be less productive in their position.
  • Academic life: Academic performance can also be significantly influenced by self-confidence. The likelihood that a student would participate in class, turn in assignments on time, and do better on tests increases with their level of self-confidence. For instance, a self-confident student is more likely to speak up and ask questions in class, which can assist them further their learning and clarify their comprehension of the material.
  • Overall health ad wellbeing: Self-confidence can have an effect on one’s general health and well-being. A self-confident person is more likely to take care of their physical and mental health by adopting good habits, asking for assistance when necessary, and upholding strong interpersonal relationships. In contrast to an insecure person who could feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help, a confident person may be more likely to seek therapy if they are having mental health problems.

1. What are the signs that you have low self-confidence?

Low self-confidence is a frequent problem that can have a detrimental impact on many parts of life. Here are some signs that you might be dealing with low self-confidence:

You often engage in negative self-talk:

  • Negative self-talk: People with low self-confidence often engage in negative self-talk. The usually deal with unhelpful beliefs, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do this.” For example, if you are offered a new job, you may quickly assume, “I’m not qualified for this,” rather than considering the possibilities of learning and growing in the role.

Read Blog: How to overcome negative thoughts?

Read Blog: How to stop self defeating thoughts & unhelpful beliefs?

  • Lack of assertiveness: People who lack self-confidence may struggle to exert themselves and communicate their thoughts. They may avoid conflict and find it difficult to speak up in groups or social situations. For example, even though you have excellent insights to give, you may be scared to speak up in a meeting or social event.
  • Seeking constant validation: People who lack self-confidence may place a high value on external validation and praise. They may believe that they must continually seek reassurance from others in order to feel good about themselves. For example, you may continually solicit criticism on your work or seek approval from friends and family regarding your appearance or personal choices.
  • Lack of self-esteem: People dealing with low self-confidence also lack self-esteem. They weigh their self-worth low and have unhelpful opinions about themselves.

Read Blog: Proven Tips for Improving Self-Esteem

  • Risk avoidance: People who lack confidence may be cautious to take chances or try new things. They may believe they are incapable of success or that failure will validate their negative self-image. For example, you might delay applying for a job you truly desire because you don’t feel qualified or believe you won’t be chosen.
  • Negative body language: People who lack confidence may stoop, avoid eye contact, or fidget. This can make individuals appear less confident to others, reinforcing their poor self-perceptions. For example, you may be uncomfortable making eye contact with others, crossing your arms, or avoiding confident movements.

2. What are the 3 types of self-confidence?

Self-confidencecan be divided into three types:

  • Situational self-confidence: Situational self-confidence is confidence that is specific to a situation, such as public speaking or executing a specific activity. A person may have great situational self-confidence in one area while having poor confidence in another. For example, a person may be comfortable presenting presentations at work but not comfortable socializing at networking events.
  • Trait self-confidence: This is a more generic sort of confidence that refers to a person’s overall belief in their skills. People with high trait self-confidence are more resilient and can cope better with setbacks and adversities. A person with high trait self-confidence, for example, may be more willing to take chances and follow their goals, even if they experience challenges along the way.
  • False self-confidence: This form of confidence is founded on erroneous views or assumptions about oneself. False self-confidence causes people to overestimate their skills or understate their deficiencies, which can lead to disappointment and failure. A person who has never played basketball before, for example, may mistakenly feel they are a skilled player and grow overconfident in their abilities. They may struggle and be unhappy with their performance when they really play the game.

Understanding the many levels of self-confidence can assist individuals in identifying their own strengths and limitations and working to improve their overall confidence. Developing trait self-confidence can be especially advantageous because it can help people tackle obstacles with a positive outlook and achieve their goals more easily. However, it is critical to avoid false self-confidence and overestimation of one’s talents, as these can lead to disappointment and setbacks.

3. What are the benefits of high self-confidence?

Having a high level of self-confidence can help you in many areas of your life. Here are some of the primary advantages:

  • Better mental health: People who are self-confident generally have better mental health. They are less prone to anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. A person with strong self-confidence, for example, may be better able to manage stress and cope with obstacles without being overwhelmed.
  • Increased resilience: People who have a high sense of self-worth are frequently more resilient and better able to recover from setbacks or disappointments. They are more inclined to see obstacles as chances for progress than as failures. A person with strong self-confidence, for example, may see a job rejection as an opportunity to enhance their talents and pursue a better position.
  • Improved relationships: People who are confident in themselves tend to have better relationships with others. They can express themselves and assert their needs more effectively, which can lead to healthier and more meaningful relationships. In a love relationship, for example, a person with strong self-confidence may be more forceful in expressing their boundaries and wants, resulting in a more balanced and respectful dynamic.

Read Blog: 12 ways to overcome your fear of abandonment

  • Better performance: People who are self-confident tend to perform better in a variety of areas, including academics, athletics, and job. They are more willing to take chances and pursue their dreams, which leads to more success. A person with strong self-confidence, for example, may be more likely to speak up and express their ideas in a team, resulting in a more innovative and effective conclusion.
  • Higher overall satisfaction: People with strong self-confidence are more pleased and fulfilled in life. They are more likely to follow their passions and make decisions that reflect their values and ambitions. A person with high self-confidence, for example, is more likely to follow a career that corresponds with their passions, resulting in better overall contentment and fulfilment.

Confident behavior verses behavior associated with low self-confidence.

Here is a table that compares confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence:

Confident BehaviorBehavior Associated with Low Self-Confidence
Taking on new challengesAvoiding new challenges or situations
Expressing oneself clearly and assertivelyStruggling to express oneself or speaking softly
Accepting and learning from mistakesDwelling on mistakes and feeling ashamed
Being willing to take risksBeing afraid to take risks or try new things
Accepting compliments and positive feedbackDismissing or deflecting compliments and positive feedback
Trusting one’s own judgementDoubting one’s own judgement and seeking approval from others
Maintaining eye contact and open body languageAvoiding eye contact and closed body language
Embracing and learning from criticismFeeling defensive or taking criticism personally
Setting and pursuing goalsFeeling aimless or lacking direction
Seeing setbacks as temporary and focusing on solutionsSeeing setbacks as permanent and focusing on problems
Table comparing confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence

3 Timeless and proven tips to build your self-confidence

1. Recognize that building Self-Love Is the Foundation of Self-Confidence:

The relationship you have with yourself is the most significant one you will ever have. Whether you like it or not, you will be stuck with who you are right now until the very end. Your mind and body cannot be separated by a diet, meditation retreat, or surgery. You will sleep with yourself every night and wake up with yourself every morning. You and I cannot part ways. Sorry.

Do you not owe it to yourself to love yourself if all of this is true? The key to developing self-confidence is to value who you are as a person in the same way that you would regard a beloved friend or loving partner.

We have grown accustomed to relying on the approval of others for our own happiness. Humans are social beings; we desire company and fear being alone, and that’s just fine. Nobody is advising you to cut all ties with people and retire to the woods! Instead, we recommend that you start making time in your schedule to romance yourself.

Spend time doing activities you enjoy. Discover more about yourself. Make yourself at ease with solitude. Treat yourself like you would a significant other because you are, in some ways, the most important significant other you will ever have. Your comfort and acceptance with your shortcomings will increase as you become more familiar with your strengths, dreams, and interests. You’ll start to see that being deserving doesn’t require approval from others. You are already deserving.

2. Prepare:

When you have no idea what you’re going to do, it’s easy to get lost in nebulous, foggy anxiety and worry, and to start conjuring great horror scenarios in your head of what might happen if you try it.

Preparing and educating oneself can be quite beneficial in this situation. By rehearsing and rewriting your speech, for example, you can almost learn it by heart.

You can immediately become calmer and more present by using breathing techniques or easy visualisation strategies to boost your confidence and positivity as you take the stage.

This is obviously more labor than doing nothing about the speech before delivering it. However, taking the time to prepare yourself can make a significant difference in your confidence levels. And, of course, the speech and delivery will be significantly improved.

Prepare, and you will feel more at ease and confident. Just don’t make the mistake of becoming stuck in the preparation phase and utilizing it to avoid action and the potential pain that it may bring.

3. Consider what you’ve already accomplished:

If you believe you haven’t accomplished anything, it’s easy to lose confidence. Make a list of everything you’re proud of in your life, whether it’s passing an exam or learning to surf. Keep the list handy and add to it anytime you do anything you are proud of. When you’re feeling down, pull out the list and remind yourself of all the great things you’ve accomplished.

You can also try journaling and and writing your heart out whenever you accomplish anything. It can be as small as making Maggie for yourself !


Lack of self-confidence manifests itself in a variety of ways, and learning how to build confidence is an ongoing endeavor for the majority of us – we are all works in progress! The key is to learn and constantly practice ways to establish self-confidence.

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